Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts, especially that you may prophesy… the one who prophesies speaks to people for their upbuilding and encouragement and consolation. 1 Corinthians 14: 1,3 [ESV]

I’ve been thinking about this verse a lot lately. I love hearing how the Spirit speaks directly to people; it’s so encouraging to me. Last night, after care group, I was discussing various manifestations of the Spirit that I’ve experienced, and listening to the those around me tell me of how they have likewise been encouraged. It was a wonderful time of fellowship. These verses in Corinthians were running through my head as we talked. What most excites me about these verses is God wants us to desire prophesy. He wants to pour his grace out on us; he wants us to be encouraged with his presence. I want to ‘eagerly desire’ them once more. I believe that if everyone in the body of Christ put this verse to practice, if they didn’t just think, “Sure, God, if you give me something I’ll share it”, but if they asked God to specifically prophesy, if they listened for his voice, if they pursued him on this fully and wholeheartedly, he will do great things in the church.

This gift is to be earnestly desired, so shouldn’t we do so?

In my own life, I’ve had a fear of this. At a young age, I’ve felt God pulling on my heart in this area. Though sometimes I obeyed and shared, I mostly kept them to myself out of fear of man and fear of the gift of prophesy. I regret ignoring the voice of God nearly everyday! The first time I ignored his voice it was hard, the second time it was easier, and so on, to the point where I had almost forgotten what his voice sounded like. I missed ‘the symphony of his whisper in my soul’.

I had forgotten this important truth:

The one who prophesies speaks to people for their upbuilding and encouragement and consolation.

If God gives me something to share with someone, I shouldn’t focus on myself, I should focus on the encouragement that it will bring them. (Not to say that it will not encourage me, quite the opposite actually).

How many times have I been encouraged by prophesies spoken over me? The reminder that God knows my inner thoughts, that he’s here, has been invaluable to me.

What are you doing to earnestly desire the gift of prophesy?

 

Two days ago was my birthday, and I had the privilege of my care group (Bible study) sharing evidences of God’s grace in my life after our meeting.

I always find this awkward… it feels a little strange for person after person to tell you how they see God working in your life.

But I was so encouraged!

I loved finding out that the times I confessed things in care group, I encouraged other people! I sometimes feel awful for monopolizing the time, I think, “oh, great, it was ‘Rachel-night’… I need to talk less”. It never occurred to me that those times can be encouraging to other people. (Why I didn’t think of this, I do not know, considering I am always encouraged when other people share their struggles in care group).

My brothers and sisters in Christ pointed out things in my life, that I wasn’t even aware of, and what I loved about it, is that it was understood that it’s not me, it is God’s grace in my life. How kind of Him to pour out his grace on me, and change me, a sinner, who sometimes wants nothing to do with Him!

I was blown away and encouraged, and I don’t know what I’d do without the wonderful people in my care group!

Two weeks ago my pastor preached a sermon on worldliness. As I was contemplating this choice of topic before the service began, I was a little nervous because I knew that I would be convicted on this. I’ve heard sermons on worldliness many times (including a 3-day conference!), so I knew what was coming, and, I confess, I did not want to hear it.

As I was listening to the verses (James 4:1-10), I was particularly struck with verse 4:

“You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” [ESV, emphasis added]

I had never considered this in relation to my motives. Sure, I want to be a part of the world, but it never occurred to me that just the desire was a sin. After hearing that, I knew that what I was involved in was a problem. I also knew what God was calling me to do (once again).

Over memorial day weekend I attended a Christian conference called New Attitude. The theme was discernment, and one of the messages was discernment in relation to culture. I was very convicted by this sermon because I love my music culture. I’ve nearly completely immersed myself in the “scene” and almost everything that goes with it.

Usually, when I explain that to people, they have a hard time understanding what I mean by “scene” or “emo”, so I will try to explain this to the best of my ability. After scouring the culture wasteland known as urbandictionary.com, I have chosen (in my opinion) the best definition of an emo kid:

1) The fans of emo music (emocore, emotional hardcore), a music genre consisting of hardcore rock with angsty lyrics and a good dose of screaming. The singers/screamers of emo music are typically relatively young guys with feminine voices. Emo bands are also (in stereotype) primarily from New Jersey.

2) The style of clothing stereotypically worn by fans of emo music. This consists of, in general: tight band t-shirts or vintage 80’s t-shirts, longer (messy) hair often died black, tight (usual girl’s) pants, shoes by Vans or Converse, messenger bags, anything checkered (usually black-and-white or black-and-pink), studded belts, thick-framed glasses, neckties, etc.
(Note: girl emo kids often cut their hair short in the back and angled down in the front, less often died black)

3) The mood that stereotypically displays being an emo kid. They are generally considered the subculture of high-school, and while sometimes referred to as manic depressive or “cutters,” are usually quite social. Very romantic, often downtrodden. More realistically, teenagers who listen to heavy music and have no qualms with displaying their emotions. (ie, don’t feel the need to prove themselves as “bad-@$$,” like many rock fans.)

Emo kids listen to many of the following bands: Thursday, Death Cab for Cutie, UnderOath, Fall Out Boy, Taking Back Sunday, My Chemical Romance, As Cities Burn, etc.

There is, of course, a very negative side to this scene. Following your emotions constantly can lead to big problems. The most commonly thought of negative things in the scene include: cutting, suicide, sex, and homosexuality. While I am not involved in any of these things, I am very arrogant in thinking that I will never be pulled into them. If I am walking down this road of “emo-ness”, what makes me think I can stop before the really negative things encompass me?

I’ve been discussing these convictions for some time now with my care group. They always encourage me and exhort me to give them up so I can follow God fully. I’ve always been hesitant. This past Thursday’s meeting, I finally saw the depth of this sin. I had made my music, a musician, a man who is just as messed up as I am, my ‘god’. He became my comfort, what I clung to. He always said that he wanted to “create a culture that people felt they could be a part of”, well, good job, man, you did that in my life and it nearly ruined my relationship with God.

I’ve always had a hard time connecting head knowledge with my heart. I can never seem to apply anything, but this time it’s different. I gave over $500 worth of band merch/cd’s/posters/shirts/hoodies to a friend to keep for me until I feel I can take them back without making an idol out of all of it. To be honest, I don’t feel I’ll ever be able to take some of it back. Some of the lyrics of bands that I adore, are way too rebellious to continue to listen to. With that in mind, keeping the clothes and jewelry that represents those views would be hypocritical (talk about being a poser…), so I’ll more than likely sell all of it on ebay (anyone interested in an old Arma Angelus cd and poster?).

If you have suggestions for Christian music (hardcore, emo, punk or even more mellow stuff) let me know!

 

 

This blog will be used to chronicle my spiritual journey as a follower of Christ. I have recently gone through some major changes in my life that have forced me to start anew. I already desire to fall back into my old habits, but this will be my outlet. This will be my way of describing my journey. Here I will record my victories and failures, my desires and realities, what I think, how I feel and how I live my life.

Background: For the past 6 or 7 years, I have been struggling with God in regards to my faith. It started as a conversation with God. The gentle and loving command came:

“Follow me”

I replied:

“But, God, I do”

But I wasn’t getting it:

“No, follow me with all of you”

Are you serious?:

“All of me? No, God, you are asking too much of me. All of me I cannot, I willnot give you. In fact you can have none of me. Leave me alone.”

With those words, uttered at the altar of my church, while praying with a pastor, I started a journey. A long, sorrowful, painful, draining journey.

Running from God is horrible. It takes everything in you. It drains your joy, your will to live, your very existence.

Returning to him is hard too. But instead of sluggishness, I’ve felt peace, (dare I say) joy, and relief.

During this time, the verses that God kept presenting in my life were Philippians 1:6 and Jeremiah 2:11.

Philippians 1:6 : “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”[ESV]

This verse always encouraged me because it reminded me that God would never give up on me. Even when I am in open rebellion to him (at least in my heart), he will always pursue me; he will never give up because I am his child.

Jeremiah 29:11 ” ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ ” [NIV]

This verse always reminded me that what God has in store for me is better than what I have in store for myself. He knows what I need and who I truly am. The world presents a warped version of myself; God will present the real version.

Next time: Specifics. You want to know how God has been working in my life, don’t you?